As someone living with a rare neurological condition, I know how important awareness is. I’ve been witness to the inquisitive stares. I have heard the comments. I have even fallen victim to the bullies of the world and been asked … Continue reading
Hey everyone, Don’t worry, this blog isn’t about the election, although I could write a few words about that. I will just keep my Canadian comments to myself! Unless you’re on my Facebook, then you just have to deal with … Continue reading
15 days to go until the end of the 2013 fall semester. My first semester of college..
The first semester have been up and down for sure but it has mostly been good. Met a whole bunch of awesome new people and my life has definitely changed. I am excited for the Christmas break though and it will be much needed.
The end of the semester brings about a lot of stress. I have three assignments (big assignments) due today. I have a paper due Monday and about 3 papers due the last week of class. Not to mention my media software work which this blog is part of. Also, my marketing class assignments. There is a lot to do, a lot to finish up.
I thrive on stress, even though it is obviously hard on me. Stress and pressure push me and that is how I work best. If I know that I have an assignment due the next day or even the same day, I will be more apt to work on it than I would be if I had a month to do it.
Am I feeling confident about my classes this semester? For the most part, I would say yes. There have been a few bumps along this road but I think everything will end up okay. I have a meeting with the academic chair of the journalism program this morning. Not going to lie, I am super scared. She initiated the meeting because my photography teacher talked to her about my aversion to working in groups on projects or one on one with someone else photographing them. It’s weird for me. Although yesterday I worked with a super nice girl on an assignment for class and it was fine. I don’t know what it is about working with people that makes me not want to do it. Well, that’s not completely true I guess but I know the people in my classes now. It has been almost 4 months.
4 months.. Wow. That is crazy! It feels like I was just moving into res, just going to my first classes and getting completely lost. I cannot believe that 4 months have gone by.. It is crazy to think about.
I am glad that I took the plunge, applied for journalism and got accepted into the program. Is it exactly what I imagined? No, but it is still good. I like the people in my classes. My teachers are really great. Yes, there have been ups and downs in the last four months but it has been mostly good.
Bring on the holidays!
I know I said I was going to do a Q&A blog next but a new-ish topic came up today. I guess that it’s not a totally new topic as I have blogged about it before but it happened again today. I went to Starbucks, ordered my usual (non fat iced white mocha with no whip) and the guy asked what name he could put on the cup. I said my name, there was that awkward moment of silence and then the “and how do you spell that?. He tried to make the situation less tense by saying “I always forget the 3 before the y, that’s why I asked” but I knew the real reason. He didn’t understand what I had said. It’s not his fault and he was not awkward about it and tried to diffuse the situation but I just am tired of this happening. Like, I kind of dread them asking what name to write on the cup because it’s so awkward when they don’t understand. I know it is such a silly thing to get upset over but I am just tired of it. I don’t know what I can do to change it, as it is my tongue that is partially paralyzed and I don’t really think there is much to do for that. When I am somewhere and they need my address, I normally pul out my drivers license so that the awkwardness is avoided, they can just see it and I don’t have to see this. I am sure that I am not the only one with Moebius who goes through this, I just don’t know how to deal with it. It doesn’t bother me half as much as it used to but it still does a bit.
Moving on, my college orientation is tomorrow. I am kind of excited but also nervous. Probably more nervous than excited. I think I make more of a big deal of my looks and speech than I should. Maybe it doesn’t really matter to others, maybe people don’t really even care. I just feel like all eyes are always on me and people are wondering “wow, what’s wrong with that girl?”. It shouldn’t matter. I should just go, learn and find out everything about my new school. College is the next chapter of my life and I want it to be as great as it can be. I’m just nervous about what others think, as I always am. How do I shake this off? How do I go to this orientation, meet my professors and fellow students? I just want to be able to talk normally to them and become involved in the college community but I feel like I am going to be held back by my speech mostly.
“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~Mary Engelbreit
This is a great quote. I know that I can’t change how I speak or the things that make me different, but I can change how I deal with it. I need to essentially forget that I have any differences. I need to go to this orientation tomorrow and not feel shy because of these things. I need to talk freely to my professors and fellow students. I am excited to start this new chapter of my life. I think everyone is nervous, obviously including me but I can get through it. My thought process tomorrow will be this: Yes, I have differences from others but everyone is different. I will put this behind me, I will talk to people like I am the same as them. I will meet my professors and be strong and courageous. There are a lot of other people with Moebius who have gone through this and continue to go through this and I will make the best of it. Failure is not an option.
So again, I will end this blog post by asking for your opinions, advice, thoughts, questions, whatever! Please, please feel free to comment. I am still looking for questions for my Q&A blog too. If you have any questions about Moebius, living with a rare condition, etc please do comment and ask!
“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” ~Josephine Hart. Not saying we are damaged, but damn, we can survive anything!
It's a Beautiful World. 