I find it ironic that yesterday was Moebius syndrome awareness day, and I’m up at 2:45 AM blogging about embarrassing things that happen when you have Moebius.
I woke up about half an hour ago after having yet another night terror. I’ve had them my whole life, as long as I can remember. It’s like a nightmare but worse. I don’t just scream in my sleep, I also am actually screaming out loud. I’ve woken my family up more times than I can count over the past 25 years because of it. Now that I’m living in residence at university, it’s embarrassing when it happens here! I wake up and know I’ve been screaming audibly (loudly) and immediately start to panic and wonder who heard, and what people around me are thinking. Embarrassing. I can’t control it and I hate when it happens.
I know that I shouldn’t care what people think and normally I don’t, but this is an exception.
Moebius syndrome awareness is important because of situations like this. If people understand why these kinds of things happen to me, they will (hopefully) be more tolerant and accepting.
I’m super embarrassed right now and can’t help but wonder who heard what happened and what they are thinking. Having Moebius isn’t a curse, it’s actually somewhat of a blessing to me (see my past blog) but the manifestations of Moebius are sometimes hard to deal with.
But I deal with them, and every adversity I face makes me more resilient.
There are just some things that I can’t control so I have to let them go.