Surgery.. Again.

Sooo, my gallbladder surgery is on Friday. As some of you know from my previous blog posts, my last surgery was cancelled. Not to go back into full details but I was literally in pre-op, my blood pressure was sky high and so they decided that it was too dangerous to do surgery. After months of doctors visits, BP medication, conversing with doctors offices, etc the rescheduled surgery is coming up in 3 days. On one hand, I am excited to get this over with. I’m excited to not have to worry every time I eat if it’s going to cause a gallbladder attack and launch me into severe, unbearable pain. On the other hand, as per usual, I am super nervous. I hate surgery. I’ve had at least 15 surgeries in my life so you think I’d be used to it by now but no, I am not. I’m not sure if you ever get completely used to it or if you’re ever completely okay with going into surgery. It’s scary stuff. The part that I hate most is definitely being put to sleep. The feeling is unreal. Voices slowly start to fade away, everything goes fuzzy. And then BAM! You wake up. The feeling of waking up may be even worse than being put under, I don’t know. I can’t decide which is worse, really. When waking up, everything sounds really distant but you can still feel pain. You are able to process thoughts but you can’t say anything and you just feel totally disoriented. It’s crazy and I hate the feeling. Also, walking (or being wheeled) into the operating room is completely stressful knowing what’s about to happen, seeing all the people and lights and stuff. I’m totally freaking out while typing this. I really don’t want to do this. I hate surgery and I think my fear, instead of dissipating, has actually gotten worse over the years which doesn’t really make sense considering all of the surgeries that I’ve had. If you’ve had surgery of any kind, comment and let me know how you relax before going into the operating room! I’ll take any advice you guys want to throw at me! 

Changing the subject here but it snowed like mad here the past few days. Today, I had to go get some groceries as it is supposed to start snowing again tomorrow. The roads were pretty good but in the parking lot, everything was melting so there was huge puddles everywhere. Just want to say how proud I was of my decision to wear my Sorels! They’re great boots. Good thing I wasn’t wearing just my Pumas. That would have been not good. 

Anyway, if you have any advice for me regarding surgery.. Throw it at me! I would love to know what you guys have to say. 

I’ll keep you updated as surgery date draws closer! 

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