I’ve been blogging a lot over the past 48 hours. A lot has happened. I’ve already outlined everything so I won’t go back into great detail. It’s just been a tough, sad day or so. Losing pet is the hardest thing ever. Especially a pet that has been in your family for 16 years. The amount of memories that I have of Toby is staggering. My first memory of him is my 6 year old self sitting in a house (the house that we got Toby from. My sister’s dance instructors mom’s dog had had puppies). I remember sitting there and a tiny puppy climbing onto my lap. That was Toby. I remember it like it was yesterday when really, it was 16 years ago. 16 years. That’s a lot of time. I was 6 and I’m now 22. That’s mind boggling to think about. Obviously a lot has changed, life has changed but the one constant over those 16 years was having Toby. I don’t remember what life was like without him. Over the past 5 or so years, I haven’t seen Toby as regularly as I used to as he lives with my mom but I still did see him a lot. I still remember when I was probably maybe 10 or 12, Toby was sleeping on my bed. My sister came in to get him and take him to his own bed (he slept in our laundry room) and in typical Toby fashion, he didn’t want to go so he growled and (I think) snapped at my sister. So I then had to get up and take him to his bed. This was like probably 10 years ago but I still remember like it was yesterday. I have so many memories of that dog. How he used to jump up on everyone, how he used to lick everyone when they went to pet him, how he used to love chasing the tennis ball, driving out to my grandparents with him every summer. In the later years he started to lose his vision and hearing. His eyes started to go cloudy, but he still loved to go for walks and stop every few steps to sniff things. Another memory that I have is from a few days after we got him, (maybe the night we got him, that part is fuzzy) I was sleeping and I heard something in the kitchen so I went out to see what was going on. My mom was in the kitchen with Toby, who was still a tiny puppy, because he was whining presumably because he missed his own mother. Like literally, I don’t remember what I did yesterday but I have these vivid memories from 16 years ago. Crazy.
I still feel like this isn’t real. He can’t possibly be gone.. I literally have said this about a dozen times but I can not wrap my mind around the fact that he is gone. In this life, I will never see his little face again. I can’t believe it. Losing a pet is devastating. I know it’s harder for my mom because she was with him every day so I feel bad for her.
Hope he’s waiting for us at the Rainbow Bridge. I know that one day we will meet again when this life is over. Til then, goodbye buddy. We were lucky to have shared 16 years.