First blog in a while..

So, I know I haven’t posted a blog in almost a month. I’ve been trying to decide whether to delete this blog or not. I wanted to keep this blog private from family, just have it for friends and others to read. The reason for this is hard to explain. I just feel weird talking about this stuff with family. I can’t really explain it better than that. Words fail me when trying to explain it. I decided, though, not to delete this blog. I love my blog and I feel that it is really helpful in not only helping me work through things through writing but also letting people know what I am dealing with on any given day. Also, obviously, this blog is for raising awareness of Moebius Syndrome and everything that goes along with having it. This particular blog will touch on one of those things.

So, I’m not going to go into details but my 4 close friends will definitely know who it is that I am speaking of. There’s a guy. He has a face. And hair. He stands out because he is SLIGHTLY good looking. So, my dilemma is this. I’ve spoken about it with some of my Moebius friends already but I kind of want to be.. friends (?) with him. Fine. Go out with him. There, I said it. Now I just feel like a major loser announcing this on my blog. Wow. Congratulations to me. Anyway the dilemma is that not only do I feel super awkward now but I feel even more so because of the Moebius. I feel like there’s no way he’d ever be interested in me looking the way I do or sounding the way that I do. I know, Moebius friends, that you have told me that I shouldn’t think like that but I do. Am I correct in thinking this way? Probably. Maybe? Maybe not. I don’t know. We did have a lot of fun when my friends and I went out and he was there. He chatted with us a lot.. got asked some really hilarious questions like what his star sign is, and he was super cool about it. So again, this Moebius thing is getting in my way. I mean, I know that every girl probably goes through this awkwardness but I think, like I said to my Moebius friends, that having this magnifies it. Most girls (okay, not most) who hit on guys are pretty and outgoing and whatnot. Opposite of me. I kind of hide behind my friends when we go out. I think that we’re still going to go out on Saturday and I want this to be a turning point in my non-existant dating life. I’ll talk to the guys. Hopefully.

This blog post has been pretty pointless so I am just going to end it here by saying that I hope that not all men go for the same type of girl. And maybe I’d know if I would talk to one once in a while. Maybe if I drink enough..



One thought on “First blog in a while..

  1. Well. Welcome to the awkward world of not-quite dating. You are NOT alone in your worries. Not by a long shot.

    Someone, who was much wiser than I, said something along the lines of “Beauty fades, but personalities that are attractive endure.” When all is said and done, if we hook up with people who cannot carry conversation, who are not interested in the same or similar things as we are, or if they CANNOT see past the physical to the PERSON, they aren’t someone worth your time. That being said, how do you find out? The easiest thing to say is “you’ll know”, but let’s face it, not all of us are that astute. I wasn’t. It was my cousin who noticed Carolynn noticing ME. I was oblivious. If he hadn’t been there, I might not be here, 14 years later, with the love of my life (try not to gag on the cliche!). It was scary as hell at first. Believe me. But, your friends can be a huge help to you, too. They can watch for the signs you might miss – not because you’re not interested but because you ARE interested…those endorphins can do a real number on your cognition!

    The truth is, it’s not easy for anyone. And you’re totally right that it’s harder for some of us than others. Let your personality shine through. Be who you are and the RIGHT person will notice (not the right-now person…that’s different! hahaha). People are always attracted to people who are authentic. Be yourself, take a risk, hope for the best, and be ready for whatever happens!

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