I was going to blog yesterday about the exhausting day that I had and what happened but I literally fell asleep at about 9 PM.
So I didn’t end up having the gallbladder removal surgery that I’ve been preparing for for weeks. It had to be postponed. I’ve told the story to so many people so I am going to condense it. I got to the hospital, was admitted, got to day surgery and was changed into a gown and ready to go to the OR. The porter had even come to take me there. The nurse was on the phone with the OR at this point because my blood pressure was high. She told the porter that things were on hold with me so the OR was calling for the next patient and that the anasthesiologist was coming up to talk to me. We waited about half an hour. She finally arrived and told me that the surgery was just too risky with a BP like that. Her suggestion was to see my doctor and perhaps a specialist and get on medication, then rebook the surgery. I absolutely was in shock. No one expects this to happen when they go in to have a surgery and it has never happened to me out of all my surgeries. Now my life is a little on hold until I figure what the next steps are. The thing is, and I knew this before, that life is so unpredictable. I really believe that everything happens for a reason. I’m not sure what the reason is at this point but I’m sure that it will become clear one day. I’m hoping that the pain will stay dormant and at bay until I do end up having the surgery which may well be into the new year. It sucks, but after all these years I have realized that you have to take each day as it comes and not worry about the future, but live for today. I’m trying not to stress about when the surgery will be, what doctors I’m going to have to see, what effects the medication will have on my body, etc etc but just trying to take what each day throws at me. Of course you have to plan for the future but you don’t have to focus on it. Take the negatives, but focus on the positives.
One of the positives in my life right now is that I’ve become a lot closer with 3 of the best friends that I’ve ever had and that anyone could have. They’re willing to go above and beyond and do whatever they can to help, give advice, or just talk to about everything. We have the best times when we’re together. I laugh more than I ever do. I know that I’ll be friends with them for life, no matter where our lives take us. One of these girls is going through health trouble and could potentially be facing a not very good diagnosis in the weeks to come. She won’t necessarily be getting the bad news, it could be anything but I still am worried. This is why I don’t understand how people complain about the mundane things. Like ugh, I have to work today or I have to get up early or I have to walk the dog or it’s cold outside. I mean, I make these comments in passing sometimes too but it annoys me even when I do it. Don’t complain about those meaningless things. This has been bothering me for the last few months. I have seen my grandparents’ failing health, one of my best friends is going through health trouble not for the first time, I’ve been going through this whole gallbladder thing. So many things happen in life that are so much bigger than these insignificant things. And like I said in my last blog, there are people who would do anything to get out of their hospital bed, or whatever perilous situation that they are and have your life.. Even if it just consists of going to work. My grandparents say “just be thankful that you are healthy enough to get up and go to work” because they can’t. If you complain about these small things, be grateful that that’s all you have to complain about and try not taking life for granted. Alright, I’m getting off of my soapbox now because these words are coming through my fingers in anger. I know what it’s like to have hardships, I’ve seen many hardships over the past months with my family and with my friends. This life is only what you make it and it’s only as good as you make it. There’s no time for complaining because life is too short to be that unhappy.
I was talking to my friend about this earlier today. I was saying that I hope my blog posts don’t make me look self centred or like I am coming from a place where I think I am better than everyone. I really have no intention of being like that. No intentions of that. I am coming from a place of having realized in the past few months what life really looks like and the hardships that come along with it. I don’t think I have a bad life, not at all. People have it much, much worse than I can even imagine. I want, though, for people to evaluate the things that they complain about and see if they are really important in the grand scheme of things. Next time you go to complain, ask yourself if in 12 hours you will still be griping about it. Ask yourself if the situation is really bad enough to complain about. And finally, if it is, do something to change it. Like I said, life is way too short and too fragile to live unhappily. Of course, there are situations where this does not apply. There are situations that are way too complicated. I’m talking about the small things like having to get up early for work. Everyone does it. My sister, for example, sometimes works 14 hour shifts. I don’t hear her complain. She just does it because it’s her job. Complaining about the long line at the grocery store? Is it really the worst thing ever? When you are out of the store and onto your next task, will that line really matter?
Alright. I’m done. I just want people to be aware of these things. Don’t be unhappy. Life is fragile and short and we all have to live the best lives with the things that we are dealt. I’ve seen multitudes of hardships but I am trying to make the best of it. No, things are never easy but we all just need to learn to put things in perspective.
No matter what life throws at you, always remember that you can look at it in a positive or negative light. Positive is always better.